1- Husband ne Wife ko sms kiya:
Dinner pe mere sath Rajiv, Sanjiv, Tanu aur Manu aa rahe hain... acha sa laziz khana bana dena dear
Phir 10 mins ke baad 2nd sms kia:
Mera promotion ho gaya aur Meri salary badh gai hai, next month tumhe Diamond ki Ring la kar dunga..
Wife ne reply kiya:
Oh my God Really Darling ?
Husband: Nahi... Main Check kar raha tha mera pehla sms mila ya nhi... warna tu bolegi mujhe messages mila hi nahi..
2- Wife market se lauti
husband- mera andaaza hai is box me koi khane ki chiz hai
Wife- are wahh Pati Parmeshwar
aap ne sahi andaaza lagaya isme me
meri sandal hai.....
3- Santa- Meri Biwi Bahut Kharchili He,
Jab Bi Dekho 100/,200/rs Mangti Rehti He,.
Banta- unn Paiso Ka Wo Karti Kya He.?
Santa- Kya Pata,
Maine Kabhi Diye hi Nahi...
4- Bhákt: Guru ji, Aisi Patni ko kyá kahte hai jo..
Bahot Fair ho,
Height achhi ho,
Bahut cute ho
Nature sweet ho,
Brilliant ho,
Pati ko samjhe Aur
kabhi jhagda ná kare?
Guru ji: Mann ka Vahám kahte hain Beta, Mann ka Váham!!!
5- Haar se pehle mai umeed kyu chhodu..!
Wah Wah
Haar se pehle mai umeed kyu chhodu..!
Daya bola..
“Payment sabko milti hai,
Darwaza hamesha mai hi kyu Todu”
6- "Boy - Tum to meri Chand ho jaanu.
.
Girl - Aur tum mere Edwin Aldrin.
.
Boy - Matlab?
.
Girl - Chaand par Chadhnewala Doosra Aadmi! "
7- Ek sachchi ghatna jise sochkar
insaan ki rooh tak kaanp jaaye,
Lekin zaalimo ke haanth tak bhi nahi
kaanpe ye sab paap karte huye.
Indore ki ek 17 Saal ki LADKI,
Jisne abhi-abhi 12th pass ki thi,
Aur
Abhi jo din uske enjoy karne ke the.
Uske Sage MAMA ne behlaa fuslaa kar, Uska
.
.
ENGINEERING ka form bharwa diyaa.
8- Har taraf padhai ka saya hai,
Kitabo main sukh kisne paya hai,
Ladke to jate hai tution ladkiyan dekhne,
Aur sir kehte hai dekho itni barsat mai ladka padhne aya hai.
9- Patni ka "I love you" bolne ke baad pati ka "I love you Tooooooooo" bolna utna he jaruri h
jinta "jor se bolo" ke baad "Jay maata di" bolna
10- जिंदगी में सिर्फ ‘पाना’ ही सबकुछ नहीं होता, उसके साथ नट-बोल्ट भी चाहिए । – प्रवीण मिस्त्री
11- Exam me fail hone ki wajah kya di hain, aaj k honhaar students ne ??
1 saal ke 365 din hote hai..
Roz 8 ghante sone ke Yani pure saal ke 122 din
365-122=243
aur summer vacation gino 61 din..
243-61=182 din
Usme 52 sunday..
182-52=130 din..
Diwali – holi etc.. Festival ke 40..
College festival 15 din
[40+15=55]
130-55=75 din.
Khane pine nahane ke 3 ghante ke hisab se 46 din..
75-46=29 din.
Roj ke 1 ghante dosto ke.. Uske 15 din..
29-15=14 din..
Ab hum 10 din to bimar bhi rahte hai..
14-10=4 din bache..
T.V dekhne ke 3 din..
4-3=1 din bacha Yaar
1 saal me 1 din hi to birthday aata
hai Ab birth day ke din kon padhe yaar..??.
Parent’s shocked Student’s rocked..
12- Teacher = Ek aisa waakya banao jisme urdu, hindi, punjabi or english ke
shabdon ka sahi sahi istemaal hua ho..
Santa = Ishq di gali wich no entry…..
13- pati- hipnotism kya hota hai?
patni-kisiko apne control mai kr k apne marji ka kaam krwana.
pati-chal jhuti!!!! use to shaadi kehte hai..
14- Arz Kia Hai:
Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,
Wah Wah
Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,
Bhai Wah Wah
Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,
Zara si tawajja plz
Bhai petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,
Kya irshaad farmaya hai,
Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai
Nahi dalo to nahi chalti hai.
15- Abhi parents ko sochna padega ki..
baccheko chai ki dukan pe bhejke modi banana hai ya..
IIT me bhejke kejriwal.
16- patni: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.
pati: Tum bhi to kitni moti ho gayi ho.
patni: Main to maa banne wali hoon!
pati: Main bhi to baap banne wala hoon
17- Gabbar : Kitne Aadmi the ?
Kalia : Sarkar 1
Gabbar : Aur tum ?
Kalia : 100
Gabbar : fir b wapas aa gaye woh b khali hath,
kaun tha woh ?
.
kalia : RAJNIKANT.
Gabbar : Oops ! sorry bhai...
18- Aajkal Ke Bacche…
3rd Class Ka Baccha Apni Miss Se
Kehta Hai–
” Mai Apko Kesa Lagta Hun… ?? ”
.
Miss: So Sweet..
.
Baccha: To Phir Mai Apne Mummy
Papa Ko Aap Ke
Ghar Kab Bheju.. ??
.
Miss: Wo Kyu …??
.
Bacha: Taki Wo Hamari Baat Aage
Chalaye..
.
Miss: Ye Kya Bakwas Hai..
.
Baccha:–
.
.
” Tution Padhane Ke Liye ..!!
Miss Aap Bhi Na Kasam Se TV Dekh-Dekh Ke
Bigad Gayi hain…!!
19- Teacher Ne Class Mein Pappu Se Pucha
Teacher: “Batao Ladkiya Dupatta Kyun Pahnti Hai?”
Pappu: “Mam, Science Ki Wajah Se”
Teacher: “Wo Kaisi”
Pappu: “Kyunki Science Bhi Is Baat Ko Manti Hai Ki Khane Peene Ki Cheezo Ko Dhakk Kar Rakhna Chahiye“
20- 1 bache ne santa ki dukan se Rs.45
ka saaman liya or use 5 k note me
5 k aage pencil se 0 likh kr diya or
kaha Ye lo 50Rs.. or 5Rs.
Vapas do..
.
.
Santa ko pata chal gaya or usne
socha iska badla lena chahiye..
.
.
Usne jeb se 50 ka note nikala or
uska 0 pencil se kat diya r bola ye
le 5Rs. Ab to Hisaab
Baraabar..
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